"What lies behind us, and what lies before us are small matters
compared to what lies within us."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Fairness

Usually I try not to be too deep, but this is something that has been on my mind for a while. Several people have raised questions lately.

"Am I being unfair to my other kids by adopting Francesca and Victoria?"

"How will I be able to give them all enough attention?"

Well, it's true, I probably won't ever be able to give enough attention to them. I try, and I don't know about other people's kids, but my children seem want constant attention all day long, especially when I am on the phone, so that's kind of an impossible goal anyway. Also, I want my children to learn that life is not all about them; that life is about making a difference and helping others.

There may be times where they are bored waiting in a doctor's office. They may not be able to attend tumbling classes every week or have all the cool fancy clothes. They may have to be patient and learn to wait. If I am busy with one child, they will have to learn to help each other sometimes. I don't think this is a bad thing.

When you set about to do something important, it's not going to be easy.
If you don't ever set out to something that's difficult, then how can you learn to be strong and overcome things?

These are things you can't learn from having tons of expensive toys.


Some people, ok, lots of people, may think differently than me, and that's ok with me, but I have to do what I think is right. I can't live my life to please others.

I want my children to know how much I love them everyday, and I think they know that, even when I mess things up sometimes!!

So, ok, enough of the heavy stuff. Here's some random cuteness.


Bowls like colors of the Ukrainian flag!

20 comments:

  1. They are all just beautiful! I am positive they all know how lucky and loved they truly are!

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  2. Many kids today get so much "time and attention" from their parents that they think the sun rises and sets just to make them happy. I pray that my kids learn that part of life is going without to help someone else. It does them good! You seem to be doing a pretty good thing! :)

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  3. we have heard all that and we say the same ours are raised on old fashioned values/you work for the things you really want etc..mine are loveing to each other and were proud of them and they love others which is the best gift of all..

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  4. Oh I just love those pictures! What gorgeous faces your girls have!

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  5. I never quite understood the question when people ask "Is it fair to your other children?"

    Would it be different had you given birth to a child that has special needs? Would they then be asking is it fair to your other children?

    They may argue that it's different because it's your choice that you went and got them. But we all know that that argument has a weak basis, so there's isn't a need to drag it out.

    What a great thing it is to be raised to learn acceptance, and diversity and the real values and importance of humanity not to mention the love of family in all its shapes and sizes. I think the children are and will be just fine!

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  6. I totally support. I don't even know you but your intentions and commitment sound clear and true.

    Can you imagine how wonderful it will be for all your children to have grown up in a home filled with effort and love?

    Keep at it sister.

    Jane

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  7. I never know how to answer those questions. I love the Princess Bride quote.... "Life is pain and anybody who tells you different is selling something." :)

    We know those who think we are crazy....especially friends who's kids grew up with our first set of kids and are now on eternal empty nest vacation. But we wouldn't have it any other way. We love our brood of kiddos and all the craziness that goes with it. :)

    AND...there is the Lord...and our LOVE of our Heavenly Father who says......... LOVE.
    BTW- I love all your quotes.

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  8. We live in such as pleasure-oriented, me-first society that it is no surprise when people define loving our children as making them the center of everything. Jesus promised us joy, but he also promised us tribulation, and called us to deny ourselves. He also called us to care for orphans and widows. You are living out the good news in front of them and inviting them to join you. What a wonderful way to help them lay a foundation of character in their lives!

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  9. People are stupid. Really.

    When they don't understand something or couldn't see themselves doing it they often criticize. Sure, I'm positive your life would be EASIER without the girls, but would it be as GREAT? Probablly not.

    Children are the most understanding, accepting and adaptable creatures and while I am sure they would each love to have your undivided attention 24/7, I am positive they love to have all their siblings even more.

    Maybe next time someone asks you silly questions you should ask them some back.. like...

    Would you rather they have been left to die in some run down institution?

    You are an amazing person and mother. While I don't know you very well I know that God would never have entrusted His perfect children to someone He didn't think was capable.

    Keep on keeping on.

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  10. Yep we get that one too...mostly with regard to "how are you going to pay for everyone's college?"

    My DH grew up dirt poor and somehow managed college and law school with not a penny from his parents...

    And There is a limitless supply of love because love comes from God and HE is limitless

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  11. I hate when people come at me with that, is it fair bs! Had I been pregnant and birthed a child with SN would they have been so rude? It is rude. It is a rude question! You know the people that ask it were mainly from our old church. Key word old. We had to leave before we brought our child home bc of his adoption into our family. Shame on them. We arent suppose to live of this world but be set apart from it. How quickly we forget.

    I think yall are great and did a wonderful thing, a God inspired thing. Follow God can never be wrong.

    be blessed

    Ashlee

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  12. You do not know me but I completely admire what you are doing! I love how you answered to a higher calling and rescued those sweet babies!

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  13. What can I say.. people are stupid. I think you and your children will be very blessed to have this girls in your family. Of course it's difficult, but whoever said life was easy, was lying for sure! lol

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  14. I think you are doing exactly the right thing!! I grew up an only child and wished every day for a brother or sister or both! I would have given anything!! As always, love all the pictures!!

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  15. The biggest mistake we made with our first child was giving her all our attention 24hrs a day. It started out as a necessity as she had very very severe acid reflux taht caused her to scream incessantly, spit up continually, and sleep less than half the time other babies sleep. The problem, her ruling our life became a habit and once she was a healthy, happy, sleeping toddler, we kept giving her all our attention. When her brother was born just before she turned 4, it shattered her world and we've all been paying the price ever since. I have a feeling your kids are learning all sorts of great coping skills, and building character as they wait for their turn, etc. It will serve them well and the others they choose to serve throughout their life.
    Plus, kids usually think life is unfair no matter what their parents do, because, well life is unfair. They might as well get used to it.

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  16. Well put my friend! We are in the same boat you are and we are still afloat! Love to you!

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  17. Love doesn't divide it multiplies as you add children (stolen for Mrs. Duggar).

    Besides, God called and you answered, everything else (and everyone else's opinions) are a moot point.

    God bless, the girls looks super fantastic!

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  18. More folks should be like you. God wants us to take care of the widows and the orphans. Because you give to others, I know He will provide for you and your children in ways that we cannot imagine. He will keep filling you with strength and energy for the journey you are on and he will provide for all of your children (biological and adopted) in ways we cannot imagine. God bless you for trying to make a difference. Too many of us are complacent and do nothing for the hurting people in this world. Your biological children have a wonderful example to follow in you. I pray God will help me to move when He tells me to move.

    Thank you for putting yourself out there.

    Sincerely,

    Mom of 3

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  19. We get this kind of stuff ALL the time and we haven't even adopted yet!

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  20. Love this post! Love seeing your girls doing so well and being in a loving family! You are doing a great job.

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