"What lies behind us, and what lies before us are small matters
compared to what lies within us."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Monday, January 24, 2011


I read somewhere that "worrying is like rocking in a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere."

Of course, worrying is my specialty, but I have to agree, it hasn't gotten me anywhere. I like to plan things, I like to know what is going to be happening and when. When I was pregnant with my first child, my son, I was the kind of mom who put headphones on my stomach so he could listen to Mozart. I read to him in utero and refused to even eat one bite of chocolate the entire 9 months. Once he was born, I had him smelling spices to develop all his senses and carried him everywhere to facilitate bonding. I nursed him until he was two. He took Spanish when he was two, piano when he was four and played chess at five.

Then, there is my youngest. She was born premature. She had no one to hold her for months in the orphanage because they thought she was a freak. She was only 11 pounds at a year old. She couldn't even sit up she was so weak. She didn't walk until she was 1 1/2. She had surgery on her skull, which could have further traumatized her.
From the moment I saw her, I knew, delayed as she was, she had a certain something. I handed her a toy, probably the first toy she had ever seen, and she grabbed it and wouldn't let go. Her excitement, determination and joy were amazing.
Now Catherine is three and likes to talk about her cerebellum and superior vena cava. She wants me to make her uvula and tonsils out of playdough.
(Catherine at 11 months old in the Republic of Georgia)

Today I had to attend a meeting at my son's school to address his learning and special needs. He has a list of acronyms after his name that are quite complicated to understand. I had to hire an advocate in order to get him the help he needs because the school says he is "unmotivated to learn",even though he can study for hours and still not remember the work in the morning. He has taught me about persevering and patience and not giving up. He has taught me not to judge others and he has forced me to be tough.

So, I guess my point is, (if I really have a point) is that we all have our gifts. I didn't make any of my children who they are, but I am lucky to know them, even if it's not like I planned.


  1. So much is completely out of our control....that is for sure. You will have to let me know how it went.

  2. So true.... we have 5 children... all different.... all special!!! We may have plans for them, but that's not always God's plan for them. ~ Grace


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