"What lies behind us, and what lies before us are small matters
compared to what lies within us."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Exposed

I am not overly fond of having people over to my house. I look around at my walls covered in markers and the smudged windows and I get worried. My worries turns into a a frenzy of cleaning (actually, I should probably invite people over more often!). Since I don't usually have time to paint the whole interior of the house, I rely on creative methods. Tricks like, "move the couch to cover the stain in the floor" and "throw everything into Isabella's room and shut the door so no one will notice" make cleaning a snap.

Today, I had an appointment with a woman from an early childhood intervention program for Francesca and Victoria. She arrived early, but that was ok, because I didn't really need to brush my hair anyway. She was super nice and I was feeling pretty good about the house and the kids. Little Catherine and I had a very stern discussion earlier about how she wasn't going to hop around like a dog or interrupt our conversation to demand essential things like a cookie.



Things went well for a full ten minutes. The kids weren't arguing, having been properly bribed with leftover Halloween candy. The dogs were only half-heartedly trying to break down the sliding glass door to get to the poor woman.



I should have known it was too calm to last.

Catherine decided she liked this woman and wanted to chat with her.

"Do you know my mom has to put Maxi pads on my sister so her diaper doesn't leak gross poop everywhere?", Catherine inquired.

The woman smiled vacantly, which Catherine took as a sign that the woman did not understand the question, so she brought the woman the Maxi pads and explained to her how they were used.


"Mommy uses these pads too, but not Dad, because he doesn't have accidents." she explained.

I gave Catherine a stern look, which she totally ignored.

"You have got to come see Isabella's room. It is such a mess. Mommy hid all our junk in there so you wouldn't see it. Come right this way!" Catherine demanded.

Thank Goodness, the woman declined to tour the room of doom. She did whip through the paperwork with lightening speed, so I guess some good did come out of Catherine's big mouth.


"I bet you can't wait to get Francesca and Victoria into speech therapy so they can learn to talk." the woman smiled.

Oh yeah, I can hardly wait!

20 comments:

  1. You never fail to make me laugh! Ya'll need a sign at the front door, "Welcome to the circus!"

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  2. Oh my, I thought I was the only one who cleaned by throwing everything into one room. I also don't like having people over, so stressful. I also have a daughter who loves to talk, gets me in trouble all the time. Oh well, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Never thought of using Maxi pads as diaper liners, you are so resourceful.

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  3. ROFLOL Oh that is soooo funny, and horrifying.... and FUNNY.... :)

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  4. ROTFLMAO!!! Woman you are KILLING me! This sounds just like my house, and just like something my daughter would say. (Latest quote from her is "I hope you're not planning to vacuum mummy, all this dust on the floor is very entertaining for me!")Oh and she refers to my maxi pads as "mummy diapers."

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  5. hahahahahahahahahah catherine i love it sounds like my house..

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  6. YOU CRACK ME UP!!! I never know what to believe about what you post!

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    1. Unfortunately Julia, it is all true!

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  7. Funny. Thanks for the giggle so early this morning!!

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  8. I've tried the pad thing in the diaper before with a tube-fed baby. Fail. Glad to know I'm not the only one to give it a whirl! Thanks for making me feel normal :)

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  9. FUNNN-EEEE!!!

    At least Catherine didn't tell strangers at the mall about YOU needing "mommy diapers". Umm, yea...

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  10. Oh dear Lord I'm dying!!!! Too funny!!!

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  11. Hahahaha I can't stop laughing. Man are you in for it when she's a teenager. Maybe she's just getting all of her sassy attitude out now....well maybe not, but one can hope, right?

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  12. So I'm thinking you need to get more specific with your "thou shat nots"... Of course you can never think of all the things to tell them not to say. Or do.

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  13. LOL, Way to funny. That so reminds me of my own children.

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  14. Until you replied to Julia's comment, I thought "fer sure" you were embellishing the story to entertain us. Wow. Now I remember why I was always thrilled that my children were "shy" as preschoolers. That and they didn't speak clearly.

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  15. Catherine is such a smart girl!

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  16. This is GREAT! And yes, let's get those next two girls talking. ;) hee-hee

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