"What lies behind us, and what lies before us are small matters
compared to what lies within us."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sunday, May 29, 2011


I would really like to write a happy post, but the fact is, I am emotionally exhausted. Going to the orphanage everyday and seeing what I see, and knowing I can do nothing, it is wearing me down. Talking to my kids on the phone and hearing them cry, "Mommy, come home. Mommy, I am sad" every single night is awful. Travis thinks I should come home with him. But I know I have to stay. I have to decide which of my babies need me the most. I know Moira and Nastya must have me here. I hope I can be strong enough for them.

Several people have asked me if we are sure we really want to bring Moira home. Absolutely, positively YES!!! Leaving her here would mean death for her. We love her, just the way she is. She is the only child in her group that we can help.

I was able to feed Moira today. She cried as soon as she saw the food (which was like cream of wheat). I felt so heart-broken for her. She is painfully thin, but she can't eat. I really do think she might have reflux. If anyone knows of an over the counter relux medicine I can buy here, please let me know!!! I feel so helpless.

This is not a smile, just like our referral picture of Moira is not a smile. It's a grimace.

Look at Nastya's skinny little chicken legs!

Here's our hangout.

I'll never get used to seeing cars drive on the sidewalk.


Moira really loved this toy we bought her!

We made a wonderful friend here named Anya. She is showing us the history of the city.

Thank you all so much for all your prayers and thoughts! They mean so much to us! Please, also include your e-mail on your comments so I can write you and thank you again!! You can also e-mail me at zoo35511@bellsouth.net

Gotta get to bed now. We've got to get up early to squeeze onto the bus!


  1. I gasped out loud when I read that people have asked if you really want to adopt Moira. Oh my goodness, I can't imagine how you could possibly leave her there! Heartbreaking to think about!
    You are the best thing that has ever happened to her. Sometimes love isn't reciprocated. That DOES NOT mean it isn't desperately needed. Think about a newborn. They don't smile when you smile at them. They don't hug you when you hug them. They don't show any appreciation or joy whatsoever at all that you do for them. But they NEED you.
    Daddy needs to tell your sweet kids that they just can't say that on the phone/Skype with you. :D

    You are loving Moira like Jesus loved you. When you were dead in your sins and your wicked self could do nothing other than hate Him, he died for you! He sacrificed everything for you when you were a sinner. You are loving Moira the same way. When she is incapable of returning the love.
    But she will! If not on earth, in heaven. God will be glorified!!


  2. hugs sweetie!!! It was SO hard skyping with the kids at home that we went to voice calls instead of video calls, it was just too hard for the kids at home. That way they could not see how tired and sad I was either!!!
    Hang in there, court is soon and then you can count down to home!!!! Call some of the other RR families in country, connect. It will be a life saver!!!!!
    you are truly amazing! you are saving both of these children!

  3. I think Moira is coming out of her shell! She's now showing interest in toys - and as heartbreaking as it is, crying and resisting is a step ahead of passive acceptance! Hang in there! We're sending you all huge virtual hugs! And the dogs are sending sloppy virtual doggie kisses!

  4. I don't know if it's this particular selection of photos or if it's reflective of what's actually going on, but Moira does seem to be interacting more with her environment in the photos in today's post.

  5. I am praying for you. God has a plan for your family and sweet Moira, even if it is not easy to see now, He has the situation in his hands. I so respect you in the sacrifices you are making to be away from some of your children and following his calling... you are showing Jesus through your actions.
    If there is anything that I can do stateside to help with your situation please let me know! I would be honored to help:


  6. Have you been able to get a look inside Moira's mouth ? Is it possible she has decayed teeth and/or abcesses, and is in pain - would explain the not wanting to eat, maybe ? I know little Carrington had terrible problems with her teeth and had to have most of them extracted when she got home. Just a thought :)
    Jenny (found you on RR) britgirlus@aol.com

  7. Oh, those sweet girls...Praise God that you will not give up. Our little guy has severe reflux and I know they sell Prevacid and Prilosec over the counter at Costco. Please let me know if I can be of help getting some to you. Prilosec in elixir form has worked wonders for our son, so perhaps this would be helpful?

    Stand strong, friend...the Lord leadeth you...


  8. Poor little one...she's never been loved...she doesn't know what to do with it. Remember, she can't give you something she's never had before. Your giving her so much right now, it may take time to soak in, but you'll get it back 10X over...I just know it.

    Brooke Annessa

  9. I think Moira looks like she is interacting a bit more. I sent a message to my friend to ask about reflux meds over there. I'll let you know what she says. We are praying for you!

  10. Ginger ... is good for reflux/heartburn/digestive problems.

    ginger tea ... имбирь чай

  11. Hi guys-

    I'm sorry for the weariness!!! Just know, when you are home, you are home and you won't believe that it went so quickly...its really weird. It is a blip in time....especially compared to eternity. Hang tight and we are praying for you. I offered my Mass for you like I promised. These girls are going to be so loved. Moira's heart must not know what to do with it all....but imagine....

    Blessings and continued prayers Travis and Catherine....


  12. I agree with all of the other posts. God is going to bless your family; your obedience to what he has laid on your heart to do. These girls need you...and I want to say that all of us have no idea the sorrow and weariness that you are feeling right now...but JOY does come in the morning. Praying for strength for all of you.

    Stephanie Lynch

  13. As I said to you before, she will waken to you! She has experienced too much time where her needs were not met and has just stopped communicating them. She has never known trust, or love, or attention. She's in there, I KNOW she is. Food, medical care and love can do amazing things. She is perfect just the way she is, even if she never progressed from this very point. In her heart is a closed door, and you hold the key. All you have to do is find the lock and turn it!

  14. It definitely does sound like something is going on with her in terms of eating. Certainly possible that reflux is an issue, but also remember that she may have been conditioned to dread mealtime due to rough caregivers (I've seen them pack their mouths full of food, with the kids choking, swallowing uncomfortably large bites, etc.) It's possible she has just been conditioned to fear meal time.

    One issue that occurred to me while reading this post (it was actually the image of her badly deformed feet that triggered the thought) was how you're going to manage her therapies in combination with the bonding process.

    The attachment process is apt to take a very, very long time with this child. And if you're performing painful exercises/stretches, putting on painful braces, etc., that will most certainly disrupt the attachment process.
    So I imagine you're planning to postpone treatment for a period of time? If not, I would definitely consider this and/or discuss the matter with a therapist who has assessed Moira.
    I would definitely find a psychologist who can help you make decisions, as you're going to need to really weigh her mental wellness/health of her relationships with the need for physical therapies/procedures for her arthrogryposis.

    We delayed treatment for one of our adopted children and I don't regret it for a moment. It meant that our child required a longer course of physical therapy/braces, but the process was much less stressful since she had formed a strong attachment and bond with us and her siblings.
    Working with a qualified psychologist will be key.

  15. courage. Can you get Iberogast? It's supposed to be available only in Europe and maybe Canada ... has been used for 40+ years. Made from a mixture of things like chamomile and lemon balm, and I ready it's done better in testing than reglan and other med for motility issues. could very well be feeding aversion from unpleasant eating experiences, but your gut instinct about reflux shouldn't be ignored, either. If you can find it there, you can probably get it for less than anyone else here could probably get it through internet. It only requires a few drops, so may make it a little easier to give to her. I am glad you stayed ... will definitely be praying for you and the girls and your family at home.

  16. Just hang in there. You can do it! I am so proud of you guys and I can't even tell you how much the whole RR family loves ya!

  17. Praying for you and especially Baby Moira! Can't wait to see her blossom!

  18. Moira looks distrustful and sad, but not eating can do all sorts of things to your demeanor and personality. She looks like she is leaning on your hubby in the one picture. and as for not reacting, I can imagine that when she cried the workers paid no attention, so she has learned that reacting to what is happening to her gets her no where. She's young and that will change with love, time and Jesus. Pray over her, read the Word to her, we're praying here for you. God Bless and keep you and yours.

  19. I just can't wait for you to get those girls home! For Nastya to get the check ups and surgeries she needs and for Moira to get the feeding care she needs. She looks starved, literally. She will probably need an NG tube and very small amounts of food to get her body used to food (ie Carrington or Julia who were recently brought HOME and suffered re-feeding syndrome from being malnourished and starved)

    Oh I hope you can get the waiting period waved today! Praying for your family and these girls!

    God bless you, them, and this journey. Finish line is almost there, although it will begin a whole new race!!

  20. Oh sweet Catharine. . . know that we are praying for you . . . and your girlies. It's so hard to be separated from our kiddoes . . . but we must be willing to bear in our body/spirit the marks of the Lord Jesus. . . I have told our kiddoes that suffering separation from us is how they can HELP show Jesus' love to Katya . . hang in there . . . soon you will be home and the sorrow will be lost in joy . . .

  21. I have not been able to stop thinking about your family. I hope court goes well today and that the wait is waived. I hope they can see that Moira desperately needs medical attention. Hang in there. I can imagine how exhausted you all are in every possible way.. Thinking about you.


  22. Catherine, I do not know Moira's diagnosis, but there are conditions that can prevent the use of facial muscles, including arthrogryposis.....
    She may not have the muscle structure to smile.
    On the other hand, she can cry...... poor baby. I just feel so sad for her. These kids go through such severe abuse at the hands of those in charge. I pray that God would give you wisdom to bring her out.... I remember a long time ago a lady who adopted 4 from a Romanian orphanage. It was the longest time for one of hers, who would only let her touch her finger..... and then hand, and then....as she learned to trust more came.
    It may be that way for Moira. :)

  23. Hang In there Friend! God will give you strength... I am heartbroken for what you are going through, what those babies are going through. I feel so helpless,,, please know we are lifting you up in prayer... We will be returning maybe somehow we can see you and give you a Hug!

  24. Praying for your sweet girls and your babies at home. Hang in there!


Sorry, I have to moderate comments because of spam!