"What lies behind us, and what lies before us are small matters
compared to what lies within us."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Friday, August 31, 2012

Where the Heart Is

Something has been on my mind a lot lately. I thought maybe I shouldn't write about it, but it just seems right to tell you all.

 A thought that keeps creeping in while I am helping Isabella work on decimals. That twinge of hope that sings to me while I am scraping dried eggs off the dishes. An inkling that tosses itself around in my mind while I am rocking Victoria at 3 am.

Should we, could we, adopt again?

Could we really do it? Or do we just say, well, we have already helped enough, it's just too hard.

There's just so much to stand in our way. So many questions.

Our house really isn't that big (but I think even if we had a huge house, everyone would still be hanging out in the bathroom with me anyway).

We are not wealthy. We do not have $20,000 set aside to bring another little one home.

Am I kind of disorganized? Yep.


And you all know what kind of cook I am. Just pass me the french fries.

Geez, we need to paint our family room! And don't even get me started on my old couch!

There's just a lot of stuff that we don't have. But, for all our short-comings, we do have something important.

LOVE! 


To some, our family might seem like we don’t have much to give to another child, but I hope that God believes that we do. 

Can we love another child with reckless abandon? Absolutely!


 We have enough space in our hearts.

We have the determination to help another little struggling soul. We are not afraid of challenges and hard work. We don't want easy, we want to make a difference. We stick together in the tough times.

We are ready to make sacrifices, even if it means I will never eat fast food again!

Adoption has enriched all of our lives and changed us forever. I can't just pretend that I don't know what's happening to children all over the world. That it could have been me. It could have been any of us. Can I just go on about my day, eating a cheeseburger and forget about them?  No!

What if we had thought it was just too hard to adopt Victoria and Francesca? What if we were too scared of what might happen?


We would have missed out on their beautiful spirits! 





What if we had thought that Isabella was too old  to adopt(she was almost 7 when she finally came home)? What if we had listened to what the doctors told us about little Catherine? I feel dark inside just thinking about it! 



So, I ask all of your opinions. Is it unfair of me to ask for help to adopt again?

Here are a few blogs which really touched my heart recently:

http://lovesransom.blogspot.com/2012/08/a-life-redeemed-by-love.html?spref=fb



"If you have a child is drowning in a lake, do you have a moral obligation to pull the child out? Well, almost everybody would say yes. But what if the lake is a mile away? What if it's a continent away?"
                                                                                                                                                                          - Mia Farrow

                                                                                                                                                              
"It’s not what you believe that counts, it’s what you believe enough to do." 


Thank you all for listening! 








45 comments:

  1. Adopting is not for the faint of heart. It takes a lot of faith and trust in God. You have already seen the horrible situation these sweet children are in, and when I look at the pictures of your beautiful children, I do NOT see orphans, I see family. You are a WONDERFUL mother and have so much love to give. I am here for you my friend!! I can hardly wait to see who the sweet child is that will be added to your family! *hugs* God Bless You!

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  2. I think that is wonderful! If we all waited to be perfect to do anything... nothing would ever happen. God doesn't call the equipped but He does equip the called! GO FOR IT!!! I cannot see what little blessing(s) is brought into your life once again.

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  3. YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! I am amazed and in awe of your amazing family every day. All the way over here in Montreal, never having met you in my life, I will support you, I will pray for you, I will send you good positive vibes and so much love. Do it. That picture of your sweet girls holding on to each other makes my heart smile. I cannot even imagine what would have been... Do it. (((((Hug))))))

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  4. All I can say is... Let me know how I can help you raise funds!! Or help when its time to go get them!! Seeing the Love in your family has changed priorities in mine. And seeing the needs in the world through your family choices has changed me. God bless your journey. And seriously, let me know how I can help when the time comes

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  5. YES!! That would be awesome! Love, love reading your blog! Like my mom said "beautiful post" Mrs.Catharine. :)

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  6. YES YES YES!!! You are the most perfect family, I have never met you either but I think you are wonderful. I love all your kids,I have three young girls and they all love following your blog. We will help you in anyway we can, they already want to do extra chores to help with funding:-)

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  7. I vote yes also! We had a failed adoption attempt in 2007, after suffering through secondary IF. We then had three more biological children and now want to add another child to our family and we are starting the adoption process again in January! We are going with a different country this time - one that is known to be a bit more stable... I have so enjoyed your blog since I found it and your family is an inspiration to me as we begin this process. How fun it would be to read about you going through it as we also do ;)

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  8. I love your family & I say go for it!

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  9. Wow.. Didn't I just say you were one of my heroes? Wow... I didn't see it coming but I'm not surprised. Follow your heart. Only you know what you and your family can do. (actually I think sometimes you surprise yourself ;o) Whatever you decide will be the right decision. Your family has so much love to share I'm sure you will make a child's dream come true. Everything happens for a reason. Trust your inner voice it will guide you. {{{HUGS}}}

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  10. The love you have for your kids makes you the perfect family! Never mind if you don't like cooking, or whatever, they'll have the best mother ever!

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  11. Well, you KNOW my vote!! :) I love you!!!

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  12. I WOULD LOVE YOU TO ADOPT a little boy with apert syndrome isnt it time for hubby to have a pal??or a little girl like serenity on reeces whos 2 and has aperts ...id donate for sure!!

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  13. Something about Victoria really got to me. A little child who was still breathing but all the life had gone out of her eyes. Without you she probably would be dead now, never knowing what it felt like to be loved. She has life and love and hope in her eyes now. What an amazing, determined little girl she is! All your kids are amazing....but their is just something about Victoria's transformation that is astounding.
    Only you know what you can handle but I THINK YOU CAN!

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  14. Well...YES! As I'll never be able to, I need to live through someone else's life and I love hearing about yours.

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  15. I have said before that I think you and I are very similar..In THIS regard, we are not. I could never adopt again, because I don't have the space in my heart to adopt..Please don't judge..
    BUT if there is an ounce of room in YOOUUUURRR heart, then I would say, GO FOR IT..
    I am single and just can't do the day to day financing of an adoption. The money just isn't there. If you are worried about that, then i would say hold off. BUT if you are only worried about the fees, then again, Go For It! I am sure that you could ask 20 friends to raise 1K each or 40 Friends to raise 500. Personally, I think you should make a list on your blog of who is committing to help. I will promise 500.. In return, i want the baby to be named after our family, which is Green..So maybe you could name the child, Green Crayon??

    Anyway, please start raising money now. OHHH, you could have a contest, whoever raises the most money gets to babysit ALL of your kids for a weeked!!!!!

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  16. I love your blog, stumbled across it and read the entire thing in one night. It touched on every emotion I had. I agree with everyone else...Go for it! Any child would be lucky to be in your family. Pssst! If you're going that far, might as well bring two back, you know you want to ;)

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  17. You already know the answer - you don't need us (readers) to tell you! The second that thought of possibly adopting crept into your head and your heart leapt -- that was the answer. The rest is a matter of logistics. I bet you could raise the money for an adoption in a matter of weeks. You are very lucky b/c you write so well and have such a large following of people who want to give you hugs and high-fives!

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  18. Who cares what I think - go where God leads you. But in case you want to know - should you adopt again? Absolutely! True you are disorganised etc. etc. but this does not count for eternity (nor even very much for now) and you have love which will last for eternity. You also have a great sense of humor and fun and a family that works together - you have more than what it takes. (I only wish I could say the same about myself!)Blessings.

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  19. So excited to see another child (or more) possibly welcomed into your family!! You know that God's got you on this one! He has provided and will continue to do so! We can help! Anxiously waiting to see what this new chapter will look like!! YAY!!! (((BIG HUGS))))!!!

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  20. Well, Serbia with two parents traveling is right around $10K. ;-)

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    1. Leah, where can you find out more info on adopting through Serbia? How much time in country is involved? Are there photo lists of waiting children? Thanks :)

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  21. If I have all these things but have not love I am nothing. It is all about the love and you have got it.

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  22. One thing that I love about you and your blog is that you are open, honest, do not sugar coat things, and are above all authentic and humble. I think it is true that it seems like some people say "we have chosen to adopt, and now it's up to you all to fund it." Your family is definitely not that kind of family. I love getting to watch all of your children grow and thrive in you family, and I see nothing but love and commitment in your stories and your photos.

    If God is leading you to adopt again, I say do it. The body of Christ is called to help orphans, and I think we would all be very honored to support your call to adopt again.

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  23. Follow God's leading. There are many of us that will be your Acts -church..and share what we have to help you bring home the child God is calling you to.
    Blessings,
    Rachel
    www.inhonoroftheking.blogspot.com
    Atlanta, GA

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  24. Am I the wet blanket here? Why yes I am. lol I love your family. I love that you aren't Suzy Housekeeper with a PhD in culinary delights. My worry is time and support. Not financial stuff but child care if you have to take someone to have surgeries, child care if you need a break and your child has RAD or is autistic. If time became an issue would you consider a bricks and mortar school for some of the kids? i am all about keeping moms and dads healthy and happy so everybody else is happy and healthy. I don't have any money but I promise to pray for a smooth adoption and lots of support for your family.

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  25. If you adopt from Serbia, you can make your criteria specific. For example, the ministry was aware that we were not prepared to deal with autism, aggression toward others. The children who's information as sent to me before I traveled were of children who fit our criteria. That's one of the nice things about working directly with the government of the country you adopt from.

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  26. As the mother to 10 children, 6 of them either adopted or in the process, I can't question your feeling that your family isn't quite finished yet. I say go for it! I love reading your blog and how far your children have come within your family.

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  27. I absolutely have the heart for international special needs adoption. But as a single Mom who works full time I know I wouldn't have the time to give a child the attention they would deserve. I don't have a lot of extra money but I donate $10 or $20 to adoptive families when I can. That's the only way I have to help those kids. There are so many things I love about you as a mom. The things you listed as faults are what I find so endearing. Having a clean home 100% of the time is so unnecessary. All of your children are lucky to have you and any children you may bring into your home will be just as lucky. I also appreciate that you blog almost every day. I know that people do like their privacy but I find it frustrating when I follow an adoptive family and give what little I have to give to help make their dream a reality and as soon as they get home the blogs and updates stop. I know those families are probably very busy and it's selfish of me to want to continue to lurk in their lives. But I put my whole heart and emotions into watching those kids come home and I love to be able to continue to watch those kids flourish when they are home.

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    1. Julie,

      I too could have written this post too! But probably not so well. I did manage to adopt 2 great boys (USA foster) and (russia - not RR though). I tend to be drawn to boys and older kids 4-9 years old. My youngest is 6 so that is what is really keeping me from trying one more time. That and the fact that I seem to 'jinks' my RR kids as they never get any support other than me! Well 1 finally got adopted in country so I lost his story. We each do what we can and every little bit helps and encourages.

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  28. Julie could have been writing for me. I found your blog when you were adopting the little girls. I fell in love with Victoria's sweet face. Thank you for sharing your story with the rest of us. The children will not remember how many times you vacuumed or swept but they will always remenber the love, humor, and time spent as a family. How about two boys this time? I can't wait to follow the next part of your journey.

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  29. So excited for your family!
    and yes, of course, I can see you adding to your family :)

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  30. So many kids in RR with HUGE funds already! I say GO FOR IT! She is almost fully funded! http://reecesrainbow.org/652/megan2h

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  31. Tears here! It'll be there when you need it! Can't wait to see this unfold. What you have done and are doing now is just training for the future! God is infinate how can we really limit Him and say when enough is enough? Only He can do that. If He is calling you, you can't say no!!! Sheri

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  32. of course i say if you are feeling like it's time to add another little one then do!!!! Have you seen these cuties with aperts on RR? Not sure if you would do apert's again but these kiddos are adorable! http://reecesrainbow.org/?s=apert

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  33. me again :) i wrote a post on this just a couple of weeks ago...do you have your one reason to say yes? http://sunshinedaysandpeacefulnights.blogspot.com/2012/08/1000-reasons.html

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  34. Definately you should adopt again!!! I wish I had your courage. I'm single and feel like I should be lucky to have adopted the two I have but I constantly see kids. I can't imagine financing and am to cowardly to ask for help. I have over 10 kids I follow on RR and would bring home in a heartbeat if only I had more courage and trust. My sister is trying to adopt and finding it as difficult as single mom as I did..(Tobias, on RR...she working on her homestudy but too scared to fully commit until get some feedback). If I had your courage and trust I'd be mom to about 14 kis by now.

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  35. I have been an avid reader of your blog for the past year and I wanted to take a minute to show you a little boy on Reece's Rainbow who I have fallen in love with. I cannot adopt this angel, and I am terrified that because of his facial structure that he will continue to be passed over time and time again. If you could find it in your heart to profile him, to show him, perhaps one of your readers, or a friend of a reader will see him? Will fall in love with him like I have. His name is Owen and his link is here:
    http://reecesrainbow.org/1585/owen-egxb-3
    Thank you so much and God bless you and your beautiful family. I am sure that any decision you make will be the right one for you and your family!

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  36. Is it wrong for you to ask for help to adopt again? IT IS ABSOLUTELY NOT WRONG! I personally am thrilled you are considering this. Everything I have ever read here tells me you are a fabulous mother.
    Excited to see who God has for your family!

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  37. This is where a lot of people start gasping in shock except for God ;)

    Prayers for you and your family and your journey with Jesus.

    I will help financially in every way possible. Don't be shy about asking for help!

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  38. Yay! so exciting that you are considering this journey again. I will be praying that God will lead your beautiful family EVERY step of the way!

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  39. I'll be there when the Chip-In button appears!

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